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| Its been a while since I have been around here. But here I go, unloading like I haven't even left.
I have been thinking a lot about past friendships that are no more. Not in a negative way or a 'why me?' but, just kind of looking at them and trying to see where they went wrong. I won't lie though, that most of my healing came this semester. It has been almost a year since I lost some of the people I considered closest to me, but here I am, feeling no more pain or regret, and looking forward instead of backwards.
It's weird how one person can come into your world, someone who completely sneaks up on you, and can change it almost instantly. This one person entered my world, and I was able to heal, whether they know that or not. I was hurting, there was still a part of me that was holding onto a friend who really wasn't a person I was friends with anymore.
In a matter of a few weeks that hurt is gone. It's because I have been able to realign what is important to me, I have been able to be realistic about life. I haven't lied to myself. I haven't let people lie to me.
I have also had someone reinforcing that I am a good person. That I am stronger than I think I am. This person has faith in me.
I suppose thats all I ever really needed, was an assurance that people had faith in me.
Thank you for having faith in me. | | |
| I could never be more thankful for reconnecting, even the slightest bit that I have, with a friend I have missed so dearly! | | |
| I have been shown one of the greatest things I could ever ask for. I have been shown love: reckless, compassionate love. From a person I deserve nothing from. I understand that each person has strengths and weaknesses in their faith and their walk with God. What I don't understand is how other Christians can berate me and give me crap for doing my best to love everyone, even those I don't really like. The Lord is showing me a lot about this. It is a struggle, but I am realizing just how important it is to LOVE EVERYONE NO MATTER WHAT THEY HAVE DONE. And I would just like to ask those fellow believers out there who make fun of me or criticize me because of the people they see me talk to or hang out with, to chill out. I would say bug off, but, that goes against what I am working on here. I don't care who you are. I don't care what you've done. I don't care if you are socially akward or a huge jerk. I don't care if you like crappy music, or are too obsessed with your boyfriend. I don't care if you hide your emotions or wear them on your sleeve. If I have ever made anyone feel like I had anything less than love for them, I really am sorry. I love all of you with all of my heart. I have compassion for you. I will be there for you. Whether we are close or have never had a full conversation, I will be there for you if you need me. You are all in my prayers. Every one of you. | | |
| soooooo...... my sunburn from soulfest is peeling. i miss jenn. i miss angela. i miss kevin. i miss davey. i miss magon. i am super glad that troxie is back. i am just being a rediculous emo kid right now. i ate a whole friggen thing of peanut butter gelato tonight. ask melissa, she watched me do it. my favorite character in the harry potter series ever just died. I don't want to talk about it. i am going to look at jenn's photo album of john cooper and then i know i will feel better. peace all. gosh that was emo. | | |
| I honest to God forgot I had a Xanga. Woops... Nothing too exciting has been going on lately. Soulfest is about two weeks away. I am a little more than excited! It is going to be amazing! Other than that, my job still sucks, but, things are leveling themselves out. :) | | |
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